Caffeinated Politics

You just knew there was no way this site on the internet highway was going to stay quiet after Orange Mussolini wrote that he gets bigger crowds than Elvis. As an Elvis fan since about the age of ten, when Mom bought an album of music that simply held my attention like no other recording, I must respond. Hearing what Trump said is akin to comparing a gas‑station hot dog that has been rotating for days to a Michelin‑star meal because, you know, they’re both technically food.

Elvis had fans fainting, screaming, and crossing oceans just to breathe the same air. Elvis filled stadiums, rewired global culture, and inspired impersonations on almost every continent. Trump inspires fact‑checkers to work overtime.

Trump has people show up mostly to hear outrageous and obnoxious comments and see if the teleprompter survives without having a sliver of it slightly cut his ear, necessitating Maxi pads to be worn by his supremely simple-minded base of supporters.

Elvis had flaws, sure — but he didn’t treat truth like a balloon animal he could twist into whatever shape he wanted. He didn’t compare himself to cultural icons every time he saw a microphone. He didn’t try to turn every public moment into a self‑portrait in gold leaf. He was religious but did not use it to play to the lowest common denominator. He could have had a huge and massive home, but lived in a rather small and comfortable place.

I am just warming up.

Elvis gave the world music, movies, swagger, and a legacy that still makes people swoon. Trump, from my point of view, gave the world a legal record as he was found guilty on 34 felony counts in May 2024 for falsifying business records. In 2023, a federal civil jury found him liable for sexual abuse and defamation against E. Jean Carroll; the presiding judge later clarified that this conduct constitutes rape under common definitions of the word.

Elvis had a sound character. Trump hired a porn star, mere months after his last child was spawned, to slap his ass with a magazine that had his face on the cover.

Ask yourself this question. Between Elvis and Trump, which one, after renting a car and having a fender bender, would be upfront and honest about how it happened?

Elvis was a decent and kind person who bought, on a whim, a new car for complete strangers. Meanwhile, Trump has been repeatedly sued over the decades by contractors, vendors, and hourly employees for not being paid for their services. If only they had slapped his bare ass with a magazine!

From where I write this evening, Trump claiming he could out‑crowd Elvis is the kind of thing that would make even the Hound Dog stop mid‑bark and say……well….this is a family-friendly site.